I refer to the PT Cruiser as the UglyMicheleMobile because I dated a woman named Michele who owned one. I had never noticed these unique-looking vehicles before dating her, then after we broke up I suddenly began seeing them everywhere. Boring road trips took on lives of their own, initially with contests to determine who could spot the PT Cruiser with the most unusual usage (the cable TV contractor with the ladder twice the length of the vehicle was the winner). Then came the UglyMicheleMobile punching game, a la "slug bug" which caused many bruises!
It should be noted that the "ugly" was meant as an adjective for the car and not the girl!
Will the UglyMicheleMobile be back in production the next time the Cubs win a playoff series?
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Update to UglyMichelePunchingGame!
A new rule has been enacted. Anyone who spots any of the UglyMicheleMobiles featured on this blog is entitled to punch someone in the leg.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Stephen King writes about UglyMicheleMobile
In his book "Just After Sunset," which is a compilation of short stories, Stephen King has a story called "Rest Stop" in which the PT Cruiser is a plot point.
UglyMicheleCableGuy
This UglyMicheleMobile was sighted in the Chicago suburbs, belonging to a contractor for a local cable company...Saturday, January 10, 2009
The UglyMicheleMobile Punching Game
Vehicle Classifications and Punch Awards
Group 1: any PT Cruiser, award 1 punch in the arm
Group 2: black non-convertible PT Cruiser, award 1 punch in the leg
Group 3: the Actual, award 1 punch in the face
In the author's version of the game, the Actual refers to the PT Cruiser with Michele on board. Your version of the game may differ. It is recommended that all contestants agree on a single, unique UglyMicheleMobile in your geographic region which will become the Actual.
The UglyMicheleMobile in question must have reasonable expectation of being in working order. An UglyMicheleMobile up on blocks in a trailer park would not qualify, nor would an UglyMicheleMobile frame in a junkyard nor a crushed UglyMicheleMobile at an accident scene.
It is forbidden to punch for a reproduction or likeness of an UglyMicheleMobile. For example, a child playing with a diecast Matchbox UglyMicheleMobile, or a Chrysler billboard advertisement for an UglyMicheleMobile are not fair game. Likewise, it is forbidden to punch for a reflection of an actual UglyMicheleMobile off of a window, tanker truck, etc. unless the actual Cruiser is within the field of view of all players.
Sessions
A "session" refers to a car trip during which only one punch is delivered for each UglyMicheleMobile spotted. When the vehicle is disembarked, the session ends. However, disembarking for reasons directly related to the operation of the vehicle for the car trip do not end the session. For example, stopping to purchase fuel or to scrape bugs off the windshield do not end a session.
Punching is only allowed when in a vehicle during a car trip, or while performing tasks directly related to preparing the vehicle for the car trip.
After a punch has been delivered for a particular UglyMicheleMobile, another punch may not be delivered for the same UglyMicheleMobile in the same session, with the following exceptions:
1. If the original puncher misidentified the classification of the UglyMicheleMobile, anyone other than the original puncher may deliver the proper punch.
2. If a punch has occurred, and the UglyMicheleMobile in question is subsequently identified as the Actual, any contestant including the original puncher may deliver a Group 3 punch.
3. Even if a contestant is in the penalty box, he or she may deliver a Group 3 punch if the Actual is recognized.
Illegal Activity
It is illegal to incorrectly punch. If a punch in the leg occurs and it is subsequently discovered that the UglyMicheleMobile in question was not black, a violation has occurred.
If a punch occurs and it is subsequently discovered that the vehicle in question was not an UglyMicheleMobile, a violation has occurred.
No player may take any action which would physically give herself an advantage in acquiring UglyMicheleMobiles. Example would include scraping ice off of a small portion of a passenger window so that only she may spot UglyMicheleMobiles, or a driver repositioning her vehicle at a traffic light so that she can view opposing traffic but the other contestants cannot.
A driver may not choose a route which he would not normally drive, because "there may be more UglyMicheleMobiles that way." Exceptions are made if (1) all contestants agree on the diversion or (2) the primary purpose of the car trip is to play the UglyMicheleMobile Punching Game.
Suspension of Game
The game is suspended if a "state of emergency" exists which would physically or mentally impair one or more players' ability to spot UglyMicheleMobiles. Examples would include a severe thunderstorm or snowstorm which would require the driver's full concentration. Other scenarios which would qualify would be if a driver were eating and driving with one or no hands, or managing a compact disc music collection while driving.
If the impaired person nevertheless throws a punch for an acquired UglyMicheleMobile during a state of emergency, he forfeits his right of protection under the state of emergency, and other players may punch him as appropriate.
Group 1: any PT Cruiser, award 1 punch in the arm
Group 2: black non-convertible PT Cruiser, award 1 punch in the leg
Group 3: the Actual, award 1 punch in the face
In the author's version of the game, the Actual refers to the PT Cruiser with Michele on board. Your version of the game may differ. It is recommended that all contestants agree on a single, unique UglyMicheleMobile in your geographic region which will become the Actual.
The UglyMicheleMobile in question must have reasonable expectation of being in working order. An UglyMicheleMobile up on blocks in a trailer park would not qualify, nor would an UglyMicheleMobile frame in a junkyard nor a crushed UglyMicheleMobile at an accident scene.
It is forbidden to punch for a reproduction or likeness of an UglyMicheleMobile. For example, a child playing with a diecast Matchbox UglyMicheleMobile, or a Chrysler billboard advertisement for an UglyMicheleMobile are not fair game. Likewise, it is forbidden to punch for a reflection of an actual UglyMicheleMobile off of a window, tanker truck, etc. unless the actual Cruiser is within the field of view of all players.
Sessions
A "session" refers to a car trip during which only one punch is delivered for each UglyMicheleMobile spotted. When the vehicle is disembarked, the session ends. However, disembarking for reasons directly related to the operation of the vehicle for the car trip do not end the session. For example, stopping to purchase fuel or to scrape bugs off the windshield do not end a session.
Punching is only allowed when in a vehicle during a car trip, or while performing tasks directly related to preparing the vehicle for the car trip.
After a punch has been delivered for a particular UglyMicheleMobile, another punch may not be delivered for the same UglyMicheleMobile in the same session, with the following exceptions:
1. If the original puncher misidentified the classification of the UglyMicheleMobile, anyone other than the original puncher may deliver the proper punch.
2. If a punch has occurred, and the UglyMicheleMobile in question is subsequently identified as the Actual, any contestant including the original puncher may deliver a Group 3 punch.
3. Even if a contestant is in the penalty box, he or she may deliver a Group 3 punch if the Actual is recognized.
Illegal Activity
It is illegal to incorrectly punch. If a punch in the leg occurs and it is subsequently discovered that the UglyMicheleMobile in question was not black, a violation has occurred.
If a punch occurs and it is subsequently discovered that the vehicle in question was not an UglyMicheleMobile, a violation has occurred.
No player may take any action which would physically give herself an advantage in acquiring UglyMicheleMobiles. Example would include scraping ice off of a small portion of a passenger window so that only she may spot UglyMicheleMobiles, or a driver repositioning her vehicle at a traffic light so that she can view opposing traffic but the other contestants cannot.
A driver may not choose a route which he would not normally drive, because "there may be more UglyMicheleMobiles that way." Exceptions are made if (1) all contestants agree on the diversion or (2) the primary purpose of the car trip is to play the UglyMicheleMobile Punching Game.
Suspension of Game
The game is suspended if a "state of emergency" exists which would physically or mentally impair one or more players' ability to spot UglyMicheleMobiles. Examples would include a severe thunderstorm or snowstorm which would require the driver's full concentration. Other scenarios which would qualify would be if a driver were eating and driving with one or no hands, or managing a compact disc music collection while driving.
If the impaired person nevertheless throws a punch for an acquired UglyMicheleMobile during a state of emergency, he forfeits his right of protection under the state of emergency, and other players may punch him as appropriate.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Movies in which an UglyMicheleMobile appears
21
Raising Helen
Evan Almighty
The 40-Year Old Virgin
In that last movie, the UglyMicheleMobile is actually a plot point, as it's the vehicle driven by the "DUI Girl" whom Steve Carell goes on a date with (until she pukes all over him.) Her Cruiser has actually been fitted with a breathalyzer due to her DUI conviction!
A red UglyMicheleMobile also appears in the Alan Jackson video "www.memory".
In that last movie, the UglyMicheleMobile is actually a plot point, as it's the vehicle driven by the "DUI Girl" whom Steve Carell goes on a date with (until she pukes all over him.) Her Cruiser has actually been fitted with a breathalyzer due to her DUI conviction!
A red UglyMicheleMobile also appears in the Alan Jackson video "www.memory".
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